Triumph Over Trophy

I absolutely love the new criteria for “trophy wife”, I couldn’t have written the new requirements any better (except to ditch the word trophy). “Trophy Wife” used to mean hot blond with mile long legs and a perfect body who lived her life to please her man. Well thank God that is phasing out because I’m a brunette (just kidding). I’m excited that men are finally thinking with their hearts and minds instead of their you know whats. Men are seeing the value in having a meaningful relationship with empowered women. They are looking for an equal partner, someone to share their life with, a person who challenges their mind. The focus has shifted from idolization to adoration, a change that fosters deep meaningful love instead of lust.

Think George Clooney, he married an intelligent woman who challenges and inspires him. He changed his entire mindset on getting married again, she won him over with the full package and he chose her to be his partner in life. This is what I’m talking about, men aren’t stimulated by a “yes” girl who simply looks pretty. Hotness fades, living to please others is unhealthy and self destructive, yet beautiful women always stay beautiful. George knows this now, he certainly dated enough girls, within the typical two year hotness timeline, to see the big picture.

When I began asking my guy friends how they felt about this I received a lot of “well yeah a woman CEO is super sexy”. I don’t believe I would have heard those words 10 years ago. Demi Moore definitely changed the way women are perceived as they age. She fell in love with a younger man and she owned it – she married him. Just because their marriage ran its course, they moved on, doesn’t mean that it was an age related issue. The odds are against you when you get married, it’s life, growth, evolution, our personal issues that lead us towards splitsville.

When I was getting divorced I hired a Manny and we fell in love. Yes, nontraditional for a woman, however men have been doing this forever. Did I mention he is Swedish and 12 years younger than me, so cliche I know! At first I struggled with the age difference but he never did, he was always sure about us and never cared what people thought. So sexy when a man stands apart, when he is unmoved by others judgements! Why do people judge? Because they are scared of the unknown, something new, societal changes or they are just plain jealous. A person close to me actually had the nerve to say “you need to break up with him now, you have had your fun, who do you think you are, Demi Moore??” Yeah, that was an aha moment for me, I realized I was going to make decisions for myself, not to please those around me and their uncomfortable feelings about MY life.

Why do people care about who we fall in love with? Why is this an issue? These are my questions when people judge. I can tell you this, I have never seen my boyfriend look at another girl, he thinks I’m beautiful no matter what and he loves my mind and the crazy way it functions. He always loves me for me, that I have never experienced before. I used to be the “trophy” when I was married, I was terrified of getting older because my ex always threatened to “trade me in for a new model”. I based my personal value on my looks and pleasing my husband, how scary it became as I started to age. To meet someone who loves all of me is the greatest gift. We have been together for 4 years now and he is my partner in life and my partner in love. I am grateful that I finally feel empowered enough to love whomever I choose, I didn’t let the haters steal my joy. I am triumphant for believing in myself, following my heart’s direction.

Follow your heart, it never lies

Follow your dreams, or forever die

Little piece by little piece inside

Love is there for those who ask

Love is waiting just behind your mask

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